April 19, 2010

April 15, 2010

April 10, 2010

CARPEDUKE - "Sodom & Gomorrah"

I watched this about nine times in a row, trying to comprehend what I was seeing, and hearing.

April 7, 2010

Book Review: That New Hellhammer Book







Review: Just buy it, poser! Stop being so damn cheap! This is a MUST HAVE, YOU NERD! First, it is larger than an American textbook, and it is HARD COVER. You can pick it up totally cheap at Amazon, you cheap bastard. That's what I did. I pre-ordered it, and It came to my greasy, grubby hands yesterday. Tons of pictures, and tons of words for you to be reading from it. When this sells out, you KNOW it's going to be on eBay, going for mad loot. Shoot, I should by a few more copies as an investment. This is gold, don't sleep on this, you punk. (BTW, I'm not doing any of that Amazon advertising click through bullshit FYI, FOAD) Check out some of the pix HERE, if you won't take my word for it.

Not Metal Church, Heavy Metal Church

"... With rosaries made of chains, and a denim lined Bibles ...

April 1, 2010

Metal Style! Caught in the Act of Being METAL!


Metal Style! Every day people, just like yourself, caught in the Act of ... well... just being METAL!

DO...

This!

DO...

Awesome "Club Camo" ... He's blending into his surroundings. and when the time is right... HE STRIKES!

DO...

Rocking it Macho Man style ... ohhh yeaaaaah!

DO...

"Which fist do you choose, that I will beat your ass with?"

DON'T...

Kvlt!

DO...

Bad Ass!

DO...

Two "Fuck You" beats "Rock"

DON'T...

It's OK if you two break the oath. We don't care.

DON'T...

Wherest thine gobblet of meade, to wash down thine Hot Pocket?

Hevisaurus - My New Favorite Metal Band

You can thank bands like Gwar, Slipknot, Kiss, Coq Roq, and every Black Metal band for Hevisaurus. Rumored band members include (former?) members of Dio's band and Sonata Arctica(?) Consider this a Heavy Metal version of Hip Hop Harry. I imagine that the band that recorded the music does not actually get into these sweaty smelly rubber suits and play to the kids. I'm sure that these are amusement park actors and/or furry fetishists, hired for scale wages.... Whoa! Strike that last statement! I see in one of the photos below, that the guitar players fingers are poking out of his/her costume! Here is their MySpace Page, but I can not figure out how to "friend" these fuckers!


Hey kid! Did ya know I used to be in "DIO" ?


Throw up the HORNS!


Praise Set!


Can you see the "Godzilla Screens" in their necks? I can.


"Any one here over 18? ... anyone?", "...pssst... MILF at 2 o'Clock!"


INTO THE PIT!!!!!!


Jesus Christ! He's shredding!




Isn't this just KISS "Heaven's on Fire"?


The Creepy Metal Ballad...